Forever Grateful

I’ve spent all week trying to figure out how to put the week of my medical mission into words.  I’m not sure that I’ll be able to fully describe the rollercoaster of emotions and experiences I went through, but here goes….

It started pretty rocky from checking in, to my first meeting the people in charge.  Many things changed and expectations not met, but I had signed up to do this, I was here, and no matter what, I was going to see it through, despite every fiber of my being telling me to book the next flight back to Bali and just bail on it completely.  I was anxious, frustrated, maybe even a little scared of what this next week would entail.  Could I really do this?  Is this something I really wanted to do?  Had I signed up to do this because it looked good or because I really wanted to do it?  All of these questions were running through my head as I learned that we didn’t have mattresses yet, there’d be no electricity nor running water once we left Kupang.  Needless to say I didn’t have the best attitude.  I tried the best I could to rally, but found it quite challenging.

The next day we took a propeller plane about 30 minutes to the island of Alor, Indonesia. It was beautiful flying in, ocean crystal clear green and blue with old floating boats and palm trees.  The airport was tiny, one bathroom near luggage claim.  I took the opportunity to use the facilities, pleasantly surprised that there was a toilet seat, knowing that would be a luxury over the next week and unlikely seen again until returning.  We all got our luggage and our transportation arrived.  Open aired trucks with benches, 3 of them, for all our luggage as well as all the staff.  I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t this.  They told us we would drive to a restaurant, get lunch, and have an orientation on what to expect for the week.  We stopped at a restaurant overlooking the water, it was beautiful.  I thought, ok this isn’t so bad.  The food was pretty good and I filled up not knowing what to expect for the meals to come once we left. We all went around the table and introduced ourselves, telling where we’d come from as well as our credentials.  This was our first formal introduction to the HAND team which included our translators. I couldn’t believe how young our they were.  I thought it was so incredible that at such young ages they were willing to volunteer.  Knowing when I was their age, I was not nearly as selfless.

We embarked on our journey to the first village, it’d take roughly 3 1/2 hours in our open aired trucks.  I was a little nervous as to what that would feel like having never ventured in the back of a truck that long.  We got to see the island, most of the drive being along the coast, and then up the windy roads into the mountains.  I quickly realized all that I had thought about this trip couldn’t have been more wrong.  I envisioned it being hot and humid wherever we stayed, not cold.  I had chosen not to travel with a sleeping bag as it’d be a hassle for my week in bali prior to arriving.  I had bought a couple blankets as souvenirs as well as knowing I’d need something this week, but I was starting to regret my decision not to bring a sleeping bag. I had just camped in Yosemite a few weeks prior, knowing how cold it can get in the mountains and although I was in Indonesia, knowing it might not be all that different.  I was simply not prepared to camp. I should have put it together.  Sleeping bag and mosquito net now being mandatory.  Of course we’d be camping.  We’re travelling to remote and rural villages, they didn’t have extra places to put us up with extra beds or cots.  How could I have been so naïve?  It was a rude awakening, one I didn’t handle well.  Our sleeping quarters were less than ideal and there was nothing I could do about it.  It was suck it up and deal with it time, and that was not at all what I wanted to do.

After being greeted by the people of the first village, setting up our sleeping quarters, and getting acclimated to our new surroundings we started to setup the clinic.  This is when I finally felt ok and was able to be positive.  This is why we were here, to help these people.  We had 5 nurses including myself, a pharmacist, a dentist, 1 doctor, a med student, a paramedic, and 2 girls in their undergrad preparing for PA school.  I loved our group and man did we come together quickly.  Everyone just manned up and did what we had to do.  No one bitched, no one refused to do something, everyone was simply willing to do whatever was needed and willing to work together in order to do so.  I cannot say enough positive things about our team.  As a medical team we knocked it out of the park in my opinion.  The other part of our team were the translators.  These people blew me away with how much they cared and how hard they worked.  They are not trained medical translators.  There are numerous dialects within Indonesia so not all of them speak one language.  These translators never complained.  They didn’t always understand why we were asking things we were, but they tried their hardest to convey what we were asking even when they’d translated the same thing 100 times.  Most of what we did was repetitive.  Our patients’ main complaints were back pain and acid reflux.  We held community education classes that were mandatory for our patients before they even entered the clinic.  In community education they were taught about diet, hygiene, and stretching.  Things they could do on their own to improve their quality of life. The 2 non medical staff that did community education worked their butts off teaching these people and they did it with huge smiles on their faces.  That is not a job I would’ve wanted to have and yet here they were doing it at 150%.  It made me look at myself and my attitude, reminding myself again that I was here to help, in whatever ways I could.

We held our clinic open for 2 1/2 days at the first village.  I’m not sure exactly how many patients we saw, but I would estimate around 300 or so.  I did 80 manual blood pressures in one day.  I hadn’t done a manual blood pressure since nursing school 10+ years ago.  It was good to get back to the basics and see just how well I have it in the states with the equipment and resources we have.  We had to improvise with things, think quickly, utilize all of our nursing skills.  We bounced ideas off each other, we questioned each other, we utilized each others strengths and experience.  We simply came together and did what we came here to do.

The last night there as we were packing up and getting ready to close up shop we noticed the kids were dressed in what we presumed to be traditional village attire.  There were men setting up drums and before we knew it the kids were putting on a show for us.  The show would last for hours, starting outside as the sun was setting and then moving inside where our clinic had been.  We had a generator which allowed for temporary electricity.  Something these kids hadn’t had the luxury of very often, if ever, in their lives.  Many of these children, escorted by their parents, had walked hours to be here and perform for us simply to say thank you.  Their parents waited patiently outside watching their kids perform and engage with us, knowing they’d have to walk home in the dark only to return the next day for school.  Ibunana, a leader with HAND, said “you don’t realize how special this night is to them, some of them have never even seen electricity”.  It was already a special night for me, but that made me even more grateful.  I knew this was a night I would never forget.  Listening to the make shift drums, watching the kids smile, dance, sing and perform for us was absolutely incredible.  We had  a couple light bulbs, people playing the drums, and the children showing us what to do. Such simple things, yet it was more fulfilling than most things I’ve experienced in my life.  These simple settings with people that don’t speak the same language, united together by song and dance, this is what it’s all about.  We joined in on the fun.  The kids grabbed us by the hand leading us into a circle and singing a song we all could quickly pick up on and sing along with too.  Their voices were so beautiful, their smiles infectious.  You simply couldn’t help but feel the utter joy that filled the room.

The next morning we packed it up and headed to our second village.  It was a long and windy trek to get there, roughly 4 hours, again in the open aired trucks. Many of us experiencing pretty terrible carsickness and upon arriving I needed to lay down as I really wasn’t feeling well.  Many others followed suit.  We were simply exhausted.  The last couple days finally catching up with us.  While we were resting the leaders went to the clinic to assess things and see how we’d unpack and setup.  We’d open clinic that evening and have dinner nearby so we were to pack up all we’d need until we’d go to bed essentially. I’d gotten accustomed to having baby wipes, hand sanitizer, my head lamp, as well as my water bottle on me at all times.  The second village was beautiful.  Where we stayed had beautiful gardens with gorgeous flowers.  They had chickens, roosters (who we’d soon grow to loathe), many dogs (one to which we’d name Mr. Spots) as well as a couple cows.  We had 1 room for all of us 11 girls instead of 2 and there were 2 much thicker mattresses that many of us were very happy to see. We quickly set up our sleeping quarters knowing we wouldn’t be back until well after dark and then headed to the clinic.

This clinic was much bigger, had 2 private rooms as well as a partition to separate our vitals signs station from pharmacy.  We had figured out a good flow for the patients and things ran much smoother by the time we got started.  The two private rooms were perfect for our doctor to have one and our dentist to have the other.  It allowed for some privacy, although people often peeked in through the windows curious to see what was going on.  The people we treated were grateful that we were even here.  Many of them had similar complaints or simply wanted to walk away with something.  We handed out many vitamins, zantac, tums, and Indonesian Tylenol (paracetamol).  Many of them complained of blurry vision or the sun hurting their eyes, both of which caused headaches.  To think that sunglasses or reading glasses are pure luxury was something I simply hadn’t thought of.  We assessed numerous people for reading glasses.  I pray that what we did helped these people.  That it didn’t just put a bandaid on things momentarily until the meds we gave them run out and they forget or stop doing the stretches we taught them. To think that I could barely tolerate living like them for 5 days and that is all they know, their norm, I am forever grateful.  I am grateful for my life, so much of which I take for granted.  I am grateful for clean, running water, toilets that flush, a hot shower, my bed.  I cannot begin to tell you how hard it was for me those first couple of days.  The second night lying on the extremely thin mattress, cold, hips going numb, I simply prayed for the roosters to start crowing so that it could be morning.  I was utterly miserable and just wanted it to be over.  When the roosters did finally crow it took me 10 minutes to be able to stand, my back so tight and spasming.  These people live like this always, they don’t know any different.  Man am I priveledged.  I won’t forget that.

Overall we saw and treated over 500 people between the 2 villages.  We dressed wounds, we pulled teeth, we treated high blood pressure, we taught life skills and preventative care, we hopefully resolved some aches and pains, even if only for a little while, we simply did our best with what we had. By the end we were an indestructible team, all of us knowing a  lot more about each other than we did just a few days ago.  We laughed, we cried, we came together and did what we set out to do.  In doing so we formed bonds that no one else can truly understand, knowing all that we’d gone through over the last few days from living in such close quarters with strangers essentially, to bucket showers and squat toilets.  We’d made it to the end.  We came together because of the dire conditions, sharing toilet paper and tales of how to go about shitting in a squat toilet, different tips and tricks on how to go about adapting to the ways these Indonesian people live their lives every day.  This experience changed me for the better and I will never forget it, nor the people I met during.

I am truly and forever grateful to the island of Alor.  I can say it’s unlikely I will be back there, but it is definitely a place I will never forget.  I am grateful to my teams, IMR and HAND, with some of the best people I know and can’t wait to see again as I know I most certainly will. Be grateful and don’t take for granted the things that you have.  I can guarantee someone out there would be beyond grateful to have what you have and take for granted everyday.