I keep wanting you to fight
Fight for me and fight for us
I’m not even sure it’s a fight you could win
But you not fighting at all stirs so much within
You’ve completely dismissed me like I no longer matter
All the while my heart broken and shattered
Not just from you, but life as a whole
Not to say you didn’t take your toll
Did I ever mean anything to you
I don’t understand
How you can go on
As if it was planned
I felt more connected to you than any other being
Didn’t think I was alone in that feeling
Maybe I was and that’s the takeaway
That just because you feel something
Doesn’t mean it can’t still breakaway
Maybe you aren’t strong enough to feel what you feel
Still needing to face your own stuff and heal
I get it, you have to be ready for that
If not ready, there’s no way you’re up to the task
I pushed and I tried to force you to change
Not allowing you the grace and patience that you gave me
I’m inpatient, unlike you
For that I am Sorry
Stepping back and admitting
That I can’t fix you
Hasn’t been easy to do
Control and influence are still a struggle for me
I am trying so hard to simply let you be
I want the best for you always
I am really trying in my own ways
I am sorry for not always succeeding
In letting you go, but instead needing
For if I am honest I never truly needed you
You showed me that, yet another thank you you are due
I think deep down I want you to want me
It’s more about that defeated feeling
I hate to lose but that doesn’t make it right
To never stop putting up a losing fight
If you wanted me you’d show me
I have to accept that
Ego and pride are a son of a bitch
Putting mine aside I let you go freely
For not doing so earlier, I am sorry
Mindfully Authentic 